*Spoiler Alert.

Note on spoilers: if you’re the type of moron who clicks on a movie review and expects a warning about spoilers, it’s time for you to climb a bridge and reflect on life and the decisions you’ve made. There’s no such thing as a good movie review that doesn’t contain spoilers. Also, what does it even mean to have a movie “spoiled?” Someone gave away the ending? Boo hoo! You watch a movie for the experience and story telling, nobody cares about you having some personal revelation about the plot the first time you see the movie. Everyone knows how every superhero movie ends (here’s a spoiler: the superhero always wins–gasp), yet billions of people still watch them. If spoiling a movie mattered, then people wouldn’t own movies they’ve seen before. I will never list “spoiler alert” to placate you dipshits, so spare me your tearful pleas.

Maddox, you’re my goddamned hero.


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