“My philosophy is: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Well, my problem with this philosophy is it often confuses the positive with the normative.
Like, 99% of the time with 20-somethings.

See, when you ask for someone’s opinion or criticism on something, it’s not being mean to offer a thought that doesn’t coincide with yours. Or, to put it in terms of a compliment: its not “not nice” to disagree. If you ask, you have to be ready for input. My philosophy is take it or leave it—but don’t throw a fucking fit when you’re not supported.

Personally, when I’m criticizing something, I hold a value-neutral stance; in no way do I assert any kind of moral, or ought-to-be suggestion in my quips, i.e.: my criticisms are positive.

Problems come up when people think you’re trying to be normative—that is, make suppositions about what’s best, or how something ought-to-be—that issues arise.

Hell is other people.

By that I mean what I mean every time I bring it up: people project their own insecurities onto others. That I’m saying this is ironic because it suggests that I do so as well, but I’m more than ready to admit that’s the case. In fact, IN-FUCKING-FACT, I’m happy to do so because it lets me adopt a mindfulness of a fault of mine, and THAT lends me the capacity for self-adjustment toward becoming a better version of myself than I was previously.

I guess what I’m getting at is that I can’t stand when people can’t handle criticism. When they take it like some kind of personal attack—a judgement call on their character or mind—rather than a suggestion from a perspective outside their own mind that could maybe, maybe but-probably-won’t-because-whatever-you’re-a-fucking-dick, help to get a rounded out opinion about something.

Instead it turns into, “Well fuck you, you don’t support me” or, “Yeah, well: you’re not original I already thought of that.”

As if my main goal was to revolutionize the world with the stuff of my puny mind, or cut someone down at the knees for lack of fucks to give because I’m a bad person.

No, you’re right: how arrogant of me.

And even if tearing people down were my motive: blind support is more destructive than uncalled for cut downs. An informed decision beats misguided delusion every time, and if I piss you off in the process—GOOD!! maybe you’ll make something of yourself and prove me the fuck wrong.

Fuckit, I’ll lie from now on. I’ll tell people that their special little idea is a great, flawless gem, and that they should feel like the next Einstein and no-one-should-tell-you-you’re-ever-wrong-because-the-scientific-method-is-about-being-right-all-the-time.

Being right all the time, every time is how things get better.
Not trial and error.

Pfft, you fucking dumbass, Chris.

Update: I use “criticism” fairly broadly here: it extends to both “disagreeing input” and “questioning”.

Essentially, just plain ‘not agreeing’.


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