Facebook, you’re being a douchebag.

I understand that you love updating from time to time, and that’s cool! I’m all for progressive thinking—updates are completely necessary. The features of an update, however, should never lag behind their predecessors. Unfortunately this is the case with your new chat.

See, I don’t like using chat. Period. It started out this way because before it never worked. Eventually my non-use, previously due to technological impatience, turned into a distaste for the aimless, eventually silent, conversation that the chat interface so often offers.

For years now, I’ve gone undisturbed. Conveniently never online of my own volition, and happily so. Sending messages or wall-posts for interaction; exclusively utilizing the social-network side of your website. It was harmony. This is not the case anymore. Your new chat logs me in every time I enter the website from a fresh window or tab. I don’t appreciate this brute force method of ushering in my participation, and I refuse to join in—now with more zeal than before.

Also, as you already know I’m sure, this event makes me look like an asshole. It makes me look like an asshole because your chat allows me to appear for an instance and then disappear, and you accept none of the blame. There’s no, “Hey, it’s not the case that Chris saw you online then logged of because of it, I’m just a dick and logged him in without him having a choice in the matter!” Sure, you can claim that plenty of people have their chat windows closed, and that now you can’t see all online friends at once so I may go unnoticed, but these claims would be cheap attempts to shirk your responsibilities–and you know that, Facebook.

And if this is all just a passive attempt at getting me to feel peer pressured into using chat to avoid looking like an asshole… then I hate you.

(I realize that avoiding chat on a social network is arguably douchebag-y in and of itself, but really: why the shit look forward to chat unless a conversation was planned previously or someone who might be online has your wallet?)

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